According to my girl at Astrology Zone, we are well-primed to have the best month ever. Especially since you’re kind of passing along the astrological flower crown of favoritism on to Virgos for the next year. You’re still favorite and the month of August is going to be great. Whatever — Aug 19 is the day to keep your eye on the fries.
Thriller really wants you to channel your energy here into thinking about what you WANT, so do it, and don’t waste your wish on a sandwich just because you’re hungry. Then Susan offers up what is perhaps one of her grosser sentences in a while: “Leo will reach out to Uranus in Aries…almost guarantee[ing] a gaggle of surprises. It’s gonna manifest differently for everyone, so find your bliss and bask in the glow of that sweet Serengeti light.
No matter what you expect to happen, won’t, and…[all that] transpires will be frothy fun.” SUSAN. Taurus According to Susan Miller, the number one question she gets asked is about making babies.
This seems like a waste of a genie’s wish because you can just google, “How do I make a baby? You’ve got Jupiter and the Sun making out in your house of love, causing this Wednesday to be the moment you meet meet someone new who doesn’t just end up being a fling. Ever the party girl, the Thriller stresses that we get out a ton this month.
” However, what you can’t google so well is, “When am I going to fall in not-single? August 26 is the luckiest day of the year — for everyone, yes, but remember: this is your cruise. The 29th (a Sat) may be the most important party of the year, however — not because Ja Rule may or may not be performing, but because this too could set the scene for love. Per the best line Susan has ever written: “…After all, this is a party, not Noah’s Ark” Pisces What Susan and I have in common besides 800 other things is our love of a theme.
” Good thing that’s what your horoscope is for, and your horoscope says, “Right now.” Yes, Taurs. In your case, she takes the aquatic life of Steve Zissou seriously with the following line on romance: “You are capable of swimming to the bottom of the sea of love” (because your sign is a fish, get it?
), “and this may be one of those points in your life that love is all you hoped it to be, the kind of love you see in the movies or read about in novels.” too late, Drake, it’s right on time: Saturn, your ruling planet, will go direct for the first time since its annoying March retrograde. ) Anything that’s felt stuck will finally move forward again.You’re going to feel more productive at work and your creativity will pay off (perhaps literally). Susan talks about your August as though it is one big lotto, with the OG of emojis — $$$ — raining down like Vegas chips.As for love, Susan said two different things: earlier in the month, say yes to first dates but be cautious.(It has to do with Venus in retrograde, and per last month, we’re going to give Venus a break because it never takes a vacation.) However, you may fall in love after the 11th, so, who knows. Sagittarius Your sign hasn’t seen Jupiter since 2004, which means Jupiter’s entry into Virgo this month (filling your tenth house of honors, awards and achievements) is like seeing Paris Hilton in your magazine for the first time since…2004. On August 19, Venus will flirt with ye old planet of butts and make a “ highly sexy, sweet vibration.” Because “Uranus is the planet of surprise,” (these horoscopes write themselves) “you may just find an arrow hits you aimed at your heart by Cupid’s little fleet of angels.” Scorpio I am curious to know if you feel more proud of your sign than ever before after reading our list of lipstick facts, because one of the tidbits was that Cleopatra had her lipstick made out of carmine beetles, which I can’t exactly be bothered to run through Google image search, but after seeing that movie set in Egypt with the Rock I just sort of ASSUME they look like scorpions, and you’re a scorpio, so. Actually, I ask because your sign has had the greatest career success this year above all the others.The difference is that it means a major boost in your career. The sun will conjunct Jupiter in this same house on the 26th, which means you’re about to become as successful as Beyoncé or Oprah or something and I only offer such hyperboles because Susan’s got me all hopped up on exclamation points. Fake a migraine or lactose intolerance.) You could meet the love of your life or the like of your night. Ask me how I’ve gotten through at least 4 other horoscopes besides Leo’s without making a Uranus joke. And since it’s the most astrologically magical month of August our generation has ever seen, your stock is only going to rise (new jobs, new promotions, corner office, full summer Fridays). August 26th is everyone’s lucky day this go-around, but for you, it’s the full moon of the 29th that will kick your romance into high gear and enchant the fuck out of you and someone special.Her words not mine: I am so excited for you, I can barely type! However: if you have a crush on someone high-powered in your place of work as Susan Miller predicts, she doesn’t say go for it, but she does advise you to “play it cool.” Can we get Isaac to weigh in here? Libra If you are dating someone then well la-di-da. It means things are going well and only on the track to get better.