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"You don't want to go downstairs tonight, do you? She had a liberal attitude when it came to physical affection.

All sorts of hugging and holding hands and kisses on cheeks were acceptable, which was very different from my upbringing.

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Imagine my surprise thirty minutes later, when, after lying in the dark talking for what seemed like an hour, without warning, I felt her lips against mine. The next night, after driving to a friend's place in NYC, I audaciously reached down and teased her with my fingers, but she prevented me from pulling off her underwear when I made an attempt. We kissed, I fingered her, she ground against me for all she was worth — and then abruptly she was still.

It was just a quick peck, but it stopped me mid-sentence. "I can't help myself," she whispered in the darkness.

"I want your dick." I was stunned momentarily, but my instincts took hold and I started to fumble with my pants button in the dark. "You have to understand that I don't love you," she said.

Male • 18 years old • Maine It was the end of winter break, and I was meeting a girl at the airport to head to NYC for a week of sightseeing before school started up again for the spring term.

She had been my best friend for the past six months, and I think she'd known all along that I had a massive crush on her.

She hadn't acknowledged my interest, though, except to say that she wanted to be single after a bad experience breaking up with her last boyfriend. "A lot." "Me too," was her answer, and she leaned over and gave me a quick hug.

I arrived an hour late, and as we were loading her luggage into the trunk of my '94 Volvo, it stalled out, so we were stuck waiting in the front seat until it would start again. I asked her about her vacation (she lived in Hong Kong, so any story was interesting), and told her about mine. In the darkness I fumbled for my keys and tried the ignition again; the car started and we headed for our college.

That night we were staying in the dorms, planning to make the trip to NYC the next morning.

I dropped my two duffel bags off in my room, then went upstairs to hers to keep her company as she sorted through her three suitcases and two boxes of clothing, electronics accessories, and documents.

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