Dating and marriage without intimacy

So, I’ve been married to my High School sweet heart for about 17 years now, and been together for nearly 21 years.

We both have good careers and we have 4 wonderful children.

But, for over seven years now things just haven’t felt right.

Emotionally and physically my wife is, most the time, very distant and cold.

She continues to say that she is happy and still loves me.

But her actions and her body language send me a completely different message.

Yet, when we are, on occasion, out with friends she is flirtatious and playful with my guy friends and other men we meet while out.

She once again becomes that outgoing, fun loving, playful woman that I fell in love with and married.

But in the privacy of our home things are cold and dry with almost no affection, no flirtations, nothing even remotely resembling physical attraction.

I come from a very emotionally and physically affectionate family, so, my understanding of what actions constitute affection are different then her upbringing.

I’ve discussed this issue with her on several occasions throughout the last seven years.

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