The rate of divorce in America remains high, leaving many adult men and women alone, available and wondering how to maneuver on the playing field. D., offers advice gleaned from his own research and that of other experts to help you get back into dating mode.
After years of being in a relationship, putting yourself back in the singles market can be a daunting endeavor. After 19 years of waking up next to the same person, Yolanda*, a marketing consultant, suddenly found herself greeting mornings alone.
Recently divorced, she was overwhelmed by the mere thought of dating again.
And the pool of single men looked more like a droplet compared with the ocean available to her during her younger years. Census Bureau, approximately nine in 10 people will marry, but about one half of first marriages end in divorce.
Yolanda may have felt alone on the playing field, but she was far from it. The number of women living alone has doubled to 14.6 million, and the number has nearly tripled for men, jumping from 3.5 million to 10.3 million.
With so many single adults out there, one might guess that there's also a lot of dating going on.
Instead, it seems that the older we get, the less we date.
In one study conducted at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, social psychologist Jerald G. D., found that nearly 50 percent of 18-year-olds go out at least once a week, compared with only approximately 25 percent of 32-year-olds.
While it's true that some people simply choose not to date, others want to but don't know how to go about it or can't overcome their negative self-thoughts.
So how can those who are struggling with these obstacles successfully and healthfully re-enter the dating arena?
First, it's important to set appropriate personal standards.
In particular, will you play hard to get or be an easy catch?